YouTube this week unveiled a bold new policy aimed at boosting viewer engagement: banning any video that does not feature a thumbnail with at least one person making a visibly shocked or surprised facial expression. The company's internal memo, leaked Friday, cited "decisive data" showing that mouth-open astonishment remains the "universal visual language of virality."

"We're simply aligning the platform with what audiences already respond to — the purest human emotion: staged disbelief," explained YouTube's Head of Creator Relations, Mark Ellis. "Research shows users are 73% more likely to click if they see someone looking like they just discovered a portal to another dimension or dropped their phone into a volcano."

Content creators have expressed mixed reactions to the change. Popular tech reviewer Riley Chase called it "the end of nuance, but the start of engagement," adding, "I can't explain thermal throttling anymore unless I also look like I just saw God through a GPU." Others worry it will homogenize creative expression. "My cooking channel is now just me pretending to be horrified by butter," said one chef-vlogger.

Despite the backlash, early metrics indicate success: engagement rates have skyrocketed, and YouTube's homepage now resembles "a never-ending gallery of people gasping at rectangles." When asked about future plans, Ellis hinted at an even more ambitious update: "By 2026, all thumbnails will legally require pointing."