Friday, October 31, 2025

    THE DAILY BAIT

    You Won't Believe What Happens Next
    celebrities

    Elon Musk Announces New SpaceX Mission To Drop Him Off Somewhere People Still Like Him

    Elon Musk reportedly commissions SpaceX mission to drop him off somewhere his approval rating remains intact.

    Elon Musk Announces New SpaceX Mission To Drop Him Off Somewhere People Still Like Him
    By Parker Niles
    Thursday, October 2, 2025

    HAWTHORNE, CA — In what SpaceX insiders are calling the most ambitious mission since landing rockets upright, Elon Musk announced plans this week for a one-way mission to deliver himself to "any celestial body or remote outpost" where the general population still views him favorably. The mission, tentatively titled *Operation Reputation Rescue*, aims to locate a habitable zone of admiration beyond Earth's social media orbit.

    "Every great explorer eventually outstays their welcome," Musk said during a press conference, flanked by a model of a rocket labeled *Self-Exile 1*. "Some people colonize Mars, others colonize public goodwill. I just need somewhere I can tweet in peace." According to engineers, the mission will deploy advanced scanning systems to detect faint traces of hero worship — possibly in remote Antarctic research stations or on message boards from 2013.

    SpaceX engineers confirmed that, while the technology exists to send Musk far away, ethical concerns remain. "It's one thing to launch a human to Mars," said one lead engineer. "It's another to knowingly strand them somewhere that still thinks *The Boring Company* was a good idea." Reports suggest that early test flights identified small but promising clusters of sympathy near some cryptocurrency conventions.

    As of press time, Musk had requested an optional return vehicle "in case public opinion shifts on the way up," though experts say odds of reentry approval are slim. NASA officials, when asked for comment, reportedly responded, "We wish him the best — out there."

    Disclaimer: This article is satirical and entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real events, persons, or situations is purely coincidental and intended for entertainment purposes only.