In a bold reimagining of what it means to own something, startup ReOwn has announced a revolutionary service allowing customers to subscribe to their own belongings. Marketed as "the Netflix of Stuff," the platform invites users to pay a low monthly fee to maintain access to items they already purchased—everything from smartphones and couches to the toaster they've had since college.

CEO Landon Grieve described the service as "liberating consumers from the burden of ownership," adding that users can finally "stop worrying about whether they really own their stuff and start focusing on the joy of renting it indefinitely." Early adopters say they're thrilled by the convenience of receiving invoices for items already in their homes.

Investors have reportedly poured millions into ReOwn, calling it a "perfect metaphor for late-stage capitalism" and "a natural next step after paying for air via 'premium oxygen bars.'" In its first week, the startup signed deals with several major appliance brands, all eager to explore what one executive called "the beautiful space between possession and subscription."

Critics, however, worry that the company may soon expand into less tangible goods, such as personal memories or emotional support animals. In response, Grieve said, "We don't own our feelings—why should we own our furniture?"