Friday, October 31, 2025

    THE DAILY BAIT

    You Won't Believe What Happens Next
    sports

    LeBron James Announces Plan To Mentor The Next Generation of LeBron James Biographers

    LeBron unveils fellowship program to train future chroniclers in the art of capturing "the LeBron experience."

    LeBron James Announces Plan To Mentor The Next Generation of LeBron James Biographers
    By Carter Dune
    Friday, October 3, 2025

    LeBron James, basketball legend and part-time philosopher-entrepreneur, announced Tuesday that he will personally mentor the next generation of LeBron James biographers — a move critics are calling "the most self-aware act of self-mythologizing since the Renaissance." The "I Am My Own Legacy" Fellowship will handpick 23 aspiring writers from around the world to study the science of documenting LeBron's greatness "from the inside out." Applicants are expected to submit a 10,000-word essay explaining how they plan to balance objectivity with reverence. "We're not just telling a story," LeBron said. "We're maintaining a brand ecosystem of truth."

    The curriculum includes courses such as Selective Humility 201: Modesty in the Presence of Cameras and Narrative Framing for the Modern Messiah, taught by a rotating panel of PR strategists, sports journalists, and LeBron himself. One fellowship brochure describes the mission as "empowering tomorrow's storytellers to preserve yesterday's headlines in real time." Scholars will receive access to exclusive footage of LeBron reading his own Wikipedia page and "correcting history where necessary."

    Graduates of the program will be contractually obligated to publish at least one authorized biography per decade, ensuring that "the story evolves as LeBron continues to." In addition, participants will receive training in advanced crisis management, a meditation on legacy curation, and "techniques for crying sincerely in ESPN documentaries."

    When asked if the fellowship might be seen as egotistical, LeBron smiled humbly. "It's not about me," he said. "It's about who I inspire to write about me." Sources close to the athlete report that Netflix has already greenlit a 10-part docuseries about the creation of the fellowship, tentatively titled LeBron: The Story of How He Let Others Tell His Story.

    Disclaimer: This article is satirical and entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real events, persons, or situations is purely coincidental and intended for entertainment purposes only.